huck blog

three things i didn't know

November 30, 2009, 9:01 pm

The other day Huck was trying to make words with only consonants so I told him all words need vowels. He said, “Some words don’t have vowels.” “Oh yeah?” I asked. Like what?” And he answered, “Like God in Hebrew.”

A few weeks ago Huck began repeating what he was learning in school and said, "Did you know that there used to not be a Thanksgiving? The pedestrians invented it."

And this morning Huck and I pretended to be spiders while running errands. You would never know it: everything we do is just like humans, only every now and then we throw in phrases like “because we’re spiders.” Then I took him to school and we stood next to Huck’s friend Zoey while we waited to go inside. I said to him, “Are we still spiders?” His face dropped and he gestured for me to come close as he whispered very seriously into my ear, “Mommy, we don’t talk about it in front of people.”

Did not know that.

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over the rivers and through the highways

November 29, 2009, 1:52 pm

Back when were younger and had two dogs and no child we spent Thanksgiving over the river and through the woods at my Uncle Ronnie's and Aunt Dottie's home in Summit, New Jersey. Then they packed their bags and moved five hours south down to Winchester, Virginia to be closer to my cousin Heather and her family. Now we make the trip once a year over Labor Day, but this year we decided to join them for old time's sake and enjoy Thanksgiving together. Heather, Elliott, Bryce, Carter and Emma Belle joined us for the day and then everyone but Bryce drove back home. Huck was so happy to have his cousin stay (though we missed Carter who had to return home because he was sick), and Troy and I got a dose of what it must be like for parents with more than one child. In other words, we got to hang out with the adults a little more than usual because Huck was having way too much fun without us. And other than a non-stop traffic jam through the entire state of New Jersey on Wednesday night (which Huck slept through), we had a perfectly wonderful time.

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happy thanksgiving!

November 24, 2009, 3:30 pm

Today Huck's class had a family Thanksgiving Feast which included delicious food and delightful entertainment. Both the morning and afternoon pre-K kids sang (and danced) some of the cutest turkey-themed songs you ever heard while Troy accompanied them on guitar. I can't wait to see what Ms. Dorothy has in store for Christmas. (Troy better brush up on his carols.)

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what happens when a professional photographer comes to our church

November 23, 2009, 9:45 pm

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school boy

November 19, 2009, 2:01 pm

Last week Troy and I went to our first ever parent/teacher conference with Huck’s teacher Ms. Dorothy. It was great to sit and visit with her for a little while and hear her impressions of Huck. She said he was very enjoyable to be around and that he is extremely smart, serious and cautious. She described how easy it is to hold conversations with him and that when he tells her things he ignores anyone trying to interrupt him until he can take it no longer. Then he looks at the child and very loudly says, “I AM SPEAKING TO MS. DOROTHY!” before continuing his conversation. She was also quite impressed with his appetite. Who isn't?

Earlier this week I joined some other moms and sat in on the class during "open school day." Huck was very well behaved and seemed a little bored at times, sort of daydreaming while Ms. Dorothy dealt with kids being silly. He was a “star of the day” which meant he got to set the table for lunch and help with the weather chart. At both lunch and snack time he was the last child left eating at the table and making everyone wait on him to finish his seconds. That's Troy's boy!

Yesterday Troy and his guitar got to help with music. Next week we're all invited to join them for a Thanksgiving Feast which will apparently include a magnificent performance by Dorothy, the children and Troy.

Last month the children took a little field trip down the street to Frank's Market where they were given a pumpkin for their classroom. They made a thank you sign which got put on the outside door for all the neighborhood to see. I eventually found out that Huck himself wrote the thank you note. Here he is with his humble work of art.

And here are Huck's first ever school pictures. I coached him on how to smile, can you tell?

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thanks, kid

November 17, 2009, 4:46 pm

The other night before bed we were each saying something we were thankful for. Troy hadn't had a very good day and was having a hard time thinking of anything. Huck couldn't take the silence any longer and suggested, "You can always say you're thankful for a planet." Pause. "Besides, I'm thankful for Uranus!"

I'm sure Huck didn't understand why we laughed so hard at his innocent little statement, but I think Troy finally had something to be thankful for that day.

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loss

November 11, 2009, 10:12 am

I just put on a sweatshirt covered in Max hairs and I have a feeling this will be going on for a while now. That dog had a lot of hair that loved to fall off his body constantly. Our apartment feels very strange without him here and hundreds of times a day I catch myself glancing over to see him sleeping, only to be quickly reminded that he isn't here anymore. We had developed all kinds of ways to keep sections of our apartment hair and urine-free, like always leaving Huck's bedroom door shut and hanging up our bath rug. I keep beginning these motions until again I'm reminded there's no need for all these precautions anymore. Sigh.

Huck's having a hard time saying goodbye these days. Daddy leaving for work results in heartbreaking sobbing, and when we parted ways with our friends Sharron and Gus yesterday at the subway station Huck cried for quite a while. It's been a year of loss for him, first his next door neighbor best friend Kadin, then his magic partner Shannon, and now of course his bro. (A nickname Huck gave to Max recently.) Huck and Troy are at the book store right now looking for books Huck's teacher Ms. Dorothy suggested to help him with his grief.

Here are some pictures from our last walk with Max on Friday morning. He would have much preferred to spend his final few hours sleeping, I'm sure, but I needed this.

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unforgettable

November 8, 2009, 7:44 pm

On Friday afternoon Troy and I said goodbye to Max while Huck was in school, and it was as heartbreaking as you can imagine. Mostly I was flooded with memories of the last 15 years with him, and it actually seemed impossible that I was never going to see him again. In some ways I haven't seen Max in a couple of years, not the Max we knew and loved for so long. Our Max was feisty, loud, aggressive, opinionated, worried, strong-willed, hilarious, loyal and capable of giving very dirty looks. He could hold onto a stick like no other dog we knew and he could jump higher than it seemed physically possible on those short little legs of his. And if I was at all upset or stressed out, so was he. I lost that little companion gradually over the last few years and he's the one I miss.

We explained to Huck what Friday was all about and he accepted it with a sad nod and nothing more. We've been preparing Huck for a while now and I guess he got his tears out of the way the last time we seriously considered putting Max to sleep a few months ago. On Saturday morning over breakfast I told Huck that I felt very strange not having Max here anymore and I wondered if it was strange for him, too. He didn’t answer so I asked, “Or have you not really noticed?” He nodded. “I hadn’t really noticed.” But today Huck had a pretty weepy morning for his old pal and even wrote a love note that he wants to give him when we die.

On the first day of school back in September Troy and Huck spent the morning at Central Park. They came upon an open space full of beautiful grass and rocks and Huck suddenly said something like, “You know when the doctor gives Max the shot and he dies? This is where he’ll come and play with Molly.” And that’s the main thing that's comforted us: the thought that Max and Molly are together again.

And finally, because I feel so loved by all of you I will end this with something a little embarrassing. While out to dinner Friday evening Nat King Cole's "Unforgettable" began playing. Before I knew it I was crying (again) because I felt like Max was singing to me, especially the last line "it's incredible that someone so unforgettable thinks that I am unforgettable too." (This is particularly humorous if you know the Harvey Fierstein-like voice we've always used for Max. I love the idea that in the afterlife he sounds like Nat King Cole.) Last night I was at a party telling some friends this story when one of them pointed out that the piano player was singing "Unforgettable" at that very moment. And we all decided that without a doubt Max is haunting me through beautiful music. That's my Max.

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a time for everything

November 4, 2009, 9:31 am

Ever since Huck’s very first autumn back in 2005 the two of us have enjoyed walks through the fall leaves together. I have no idea how he really feels about my favorite season but he’s quite sweet letting me drag him through various parks and neighborhoods this time of year. And though he's become one of those kids who does not want his picture taken every two minutes, he happily poses in front of gorgeous fall scenery for me, sometimes even volunteering to do so. Thanks, kid.

This morning Huck and Troy got up early and took our rotting jack o'lanterns to the place where all of our rotting jack o'lanterns end up, which is in a secluded wooded area near the river. Troy told me that this morning's tradition included some sobbing on Huck's part as he hugged his daddy and said he wanted the jack o'lanterns back. This probably has something to do with our old dog Max.

At 15 years and almost eight months, Max is not the dog he used to be. While he doesn’t have any life threatening issues, he also doesn’t have much of a life anymore. Troy and I have struggled with this decision for a long time now but have finally realized that it’s time to say goodbye to our old friend. Please think of us on Friday afternoon as we take him to the vet to be put to sleep. While I’m ready to live a life free of the burdens of an old, smelly, incontinent dog who does nothing but sleep, I am also sad to see him go. And I think Huck is too.

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