In the weeks leading up to my much anticipated tympanoplasty surgery to repair the hole in my eardrum, I found myself unable to commit to anything post-February 11th since I had no idea how long the recovery would officially be.  I kept catching myself saying to people, “I may or may not be there.  I’m going to have to play it by ear.”  Never did I intend that pun, but it always made me smile.  I feel like I’ve been playing my life by ear for about 16 years now.

Once the big day finally arrived, I knew I was going to be okay when I saw Troy wearing the same shirt I requested he wear back on March 7th, 2005.  It’s such a comforting, soft blue shirt that has now gotten me through two major medical procedures: childbirth and ear repair!  Oh, may we never need it again.

And I did get through this surgery thanks to a million prayers, wonderful advice, encouraging emails, texts and phone calls, a personalized recorded loving kindness meditation, friends who made us dinner and stayed overnight to be on Huck and Sunny duty, my very own nurse friend who has already made two house calls, the best husband, and my favorite surgeon Dr. Ward Gardner (who also happens to be Huck’s dear friend Lydia’s dad’s childhood best friend). Facial paralysis is one of the risks of this surgery, though apparently very rare and not permanent but still on my list of top things to be terrified about, and so upon “waking up” Troy asked me to give him a smile.  I think he, too, may have felt some relief when I did.  Of course I have no memory of any of this.  Once I finally did start making memories, we slowly oh so slowly got me dressed, adjusted my new ear contraption, and headed westward to Fayetteville. Waiting for us at home were love notes and ear puns and a fridge and freezer full of wonderful food from local friends, along with the realization that I did it! This thing that I’ve put off for so many years was over!  No matter what kind of recovery I face (pain, discomfort, bleeding, hearing weirdness, no lifting, no strenuous activity, no blowing of the nose or sneezing for two months at which point we will know whether or not it worked), the actual surgery was done and I could still move my face!  I slept very well last night, though I did wake Troy up at 3AM to visit a little bit.

Many friends texted us throughout the day for updates, and one of them accidentally included my old New York number. This has happened many times over the last year, and the young woman who inherited my former digits has been a very good sport about it.  She often chimes in, sometimes in an ornery way, but always good-naturedly.  Last night she texted, “Wrong number, but hope all is well for Jonny’s surgery.”

It’s this kind of loving kindness that gets me every time.