new york city kid in arkansas
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Huck, who loves to alphabetize books onto shelves and should probably be a librarian one day, suggested we reorganize our bookshelves together. In doing so I discovered not only an insane amount of dust that pretty much amounted to another dog, but also some old baby journals Troy and I faithfully wrote in during Huck’s first four years. I knew reading these would be a wonderful experience for the two of us, but I was surprised when Huck took pleasure in hearing old stories as well. You’d think everything that ever happened had been recorded in The Adventures of Huck baby blog, but apparently not.

I also found some large scrapbooks that I semi-faithfully kept during Huck’s first nine years. The last one is half filled with cards and the kind of memorabilia you would expect. But then it appears that right around his 9th birthday this task became too much for me, and instead I shoved things into it for later. I did not know later would take four years.

I quickly realized that part of the problem was the need for large 12×12 scrapbook paper to go into the photo sleeves so that cards and things could be attached to it. The inability to find such paper must be what ended the project all those years ago, but now I work at a school with scraps of paper and random things in various closets that no one uses. The next day I went into what used to be our drama office and is now a storage for all artsy-crafty things donated and undiscovered. Within seconds I found a pile of old, dusty scrapbooks filled with unused 12×12 whitish paper. I took what I needed and then stopped and looked around the room, marveling for a moment at how much things have changed over my four years at The New School. And then I realized the real reason I stopped having time for the scrapbook project.

Yesterday at work I said goodbye to three of my very favorite people. They packed up their offices like so many before them over the last difficult year, loaded their cars and/or moving trucks and left the school for good. I sort of had a lump in my throat for most of the day, and I told Troy and Huck I really needed a good cry. Huck asked, “Do you mean a happy cry or a sad cry?” and I said, “Yes.”

Five years ago today we left New York City for our pilgrimage to Fayetteville. I’m reading “The Grapes of Wrath” right now and keep combining the two journeys in my mind, dwelling on how difficult it is to leave a place you love in hopes of loving the new place even more, how difficult to say goodbye, how difficult change can be. Fourteen years ago tomorrow I took a positive pregnancy test, which means about 5000 Troy-made smoothies. Change is also good.

Time to finish that scrapbook.

3 comments

Shauntsies

July 1st, 2018

So much heart clench! Happy Positive-Pregnancy-Test Day!!!!!

Pappy T

July 1st, 2018

It never stops, does it?
Change just keeps happening.

Aunt Jeni

July 1st, 2018

Life just wouldn’t be the same without Huck. Thank goodness for change. And yay for Mr. Blender!

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